


circus

by gdragonsideburns



Category: Original Work
Genre: Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28444746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gdragonsideburns/pseuds/gdragonsideburns
Summary: 31/12/20my parents regularly insinuate/straight up call me an attention seeker when they think i'm too far away to hear them.im so fucking tired of being disabled in their household, i hate the holidays, theyre such lovely people until im not okay, then it's fuck you demon child youre not autistic, just dramaticthe other day my dad said that me 'feeling the way i do' (being mentally ill) was just as stressful for them as it was for me, like uh? not it's fucking not
Kudos: 1





	circus

I am locked in my own personal hell.

-surrounded by love and suffocated by misunderstanding

I am imprisoned by being ‘different’

which ‘doesn’t mean wrong’ 

until I disagree.

I am a freak

A showcase. An attention seeker.

They dismantled the circus

stole away my home

So I build it around me,

turn myself into a spectacle,

For you. 

always only ever for you.

I rip off my nails and pepper them in my cereal

for if I existed genuinely,

if I lived my life,

not as an act,

not as a play,

but as a humane moment of peace in my own skin.

you would sit comfortable in your front row seats

and shout ‘dance monkey dance’ at my joy

then jeer and mock at my tears.

I am a show.

A circus.

A freak.

It is not my choice, or defense of occupation,

but simply a mark of your love.


End file.
